


It's All In Your Head

by jessunnie



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Imaginary Friends, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-24 18:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessunnie/pseuds/jessunnie
Summary: Woojin encouraged his best friend Jihoon to seek professional help for his mental health problems but ended up discovering he was his imaginary friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so I'm not really sure of what I am doing.
> 
> Thankfully I had an amazing support system, right, noonables? 
> 
> I want to thank @brownrice for being my beta. ILYSM, really. <3 
> 
> And to @slackeuse who encouraged me to do this.

It was a beautiful day and Woojin soaked on the last rays of warmth of the sunset, while admiring the view of the clearing. It was soothing and it helped clear his mind that kept wondering about his best friend, Jihoon, who was beside him but might as well not be, since he shut down any form of contact after Woojin’s failed attempt at having the shrink talk. Again.  
  
He was worried. Jihoon wasn't always like that. There were good days and bad days, and then there is this right now: a soulless, distant and apathetic version of the Jihoon that he has come to know and love.

 

Woojin was glad that, at least, Jihoon turned to him to seek some kind of solace. But he knew, he was well aware that there wasn’t much he could do to console his best friend.

 

That beautiful smile and vivacious sparkly eyes just weren’t there anymore. Jihoon looked like he carried the whole world on his shoulder. And maybe he really did.

 

When he arrived earlier on the clearing, he silently plopped down on the grass, all blank faced and sluggish movements. _Like there was nothing to live for_ thought Woojin, scared of its implications.

 

Jihoon finally shuffled from his still position and looked at his friend with questioning eyes.

 

“Why, Woojin? Why am I even alive still?” he paused, and turned his face to look at the sky. “It seems like everything I touch, spoils.”

 

Fearing another shut down, Woojin grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He was afraid of saying the wrong words, so he settled for being playful.

 

“Is that your way of saying I smell?”

 

Jihoon gave him an awry semblance of smile and then finally broke down and cried. Woojin brought him closer and enveloped him in an embrace.

 

This feels like _dejavu_ to Woojin. He has known Jihoon for as long as he can remember. And it was at this same spot that he met the boy in question, just a kid then, crying his heart content.

 

“ _Hey, hey... Why are you crying?” little Woojin asked crouching in front of the crying boy that had shrunken hugging his legs tighter._

 

_Woojin sat down, shoulders brushing beside Jihoon and waited. The kid finally stopped wailing and calmed down enough to speak._

 

“ _My parents are fighting again. I can’t handle it anymore.”_

 

“ _Oh.” answered Woojin inarticulately. “Hum...I’m Woojin. D-do you want to talk about it?”_

 

_Jihoon gave him a little smile and started telling his story, the reasons of his break down._

 

_His life has always been tough, an only child in a small and shabby neighborhood. He learned that Jihoon came from a broken home, because his parents always fought about every meaningless thing. “It’s better this way. At least when they’re apart they get less...physical with their punishments.” said Jihoon drawing patterns into the ground._

 

_Woojin wrapped his arms around him and tried to convey through actions what he wasn’t eloquent enough to say with words._

 

_It became a pattern. Almost all afternoons Woojin would be waiting for Jihoon to go to that clearing. Usually Jihoon done the talking. He talked about school, about his family, about his struggles and Woojin would listen, throw some laconic words of comfort or joke around to keep Jihoon’s mind off his hardships, but mainly he would just hold him._

 

_Through those encounters they have become friends and confidants._

 

They were silent for a long while and that gave time for Woojin's mind continue with its ramblings.

 

Life can often be unfair, but Woojin thought it was in a particularly mean streak when it comes to Jihoon.

 

After all his suffering thanks to the messy divorce of his parents, a couple years later, his mom fell ill when Jihoon was on the tender age of 16. He then become the breadwinner of the house, because his father simply disappeared after he remarried.

 

That made Jihoon almost drop out of school due to juggling his time between odd jobs and taking care of his mother.

 

What added salt to injury was the fact he insisted on being a loner. He didn’t have any friends besides Woojin.

 

Jihoon liked to think of himself as self-sufficient but Woojin knew he was anything but that, way too dependent on Woojin to anchor the other of his self-deprecating feelings.

 

Woojin tried to be there for him as much as he could, but Jihoon doesn't want any of it, settling for his never-ending emotional support instead.

 

Jihoon’s mom started to get worse and worse, with the medical bills piling up Jihoon became even more desperate denying himself any time to sleep or take care of himself. All his efforts focused on his dying mother.

 

By the end of his last year in high school, she finally succumbed, passing away on a cold night of December.

 

That made Jihoon even more introspective, only reaching out seldomly for Woojin that everyday waited for him to show up apprehensively.

 

Even if Woojin appreciated being his safe line and that the feeling of being needed warmed his heart, this was getting way out of control.

 

Jihoon didn’t have any motivation to leave the house for anything, dragging his feet to his jobs like he was on auto-pilot.

 

His house was a mess, he was basically living of instant ramen and his basic hygiene was questionable, at least. Thankfully, the Baes, a neighbor family, pitied him enough and left home cooked meals by his door occasionally.

 

It hurt Woojin seeing his most precious friend going through that and not being able to handle well this depressed version of Jihoon.

 

Deciding that enough was enough, he concluded that it was a time to stop with the hints about seeking professional help and be incisive about it. So he tried again.

 

Tentatively, he started to stroke Jihoon’s head, as a way of holding him in place but carefully enough to not scare Jihoon away.

 

“Jihoon-ah...asking for help is not a weakness, you know?”

 

Jihoon looked uncomfortable and shifted a bit looking to the ground, sighing deeply.

 

“Are we really having this conversation again?”

 

Woojin held both of his hands and caressed them. “Look at me. Please, Jihoon, you can’t go on like this”.

 

“Go on like what? I have a roof, I have a job, school is almost over and, and...I have you! I don’t need anything else.” Snapped Jihoon, panting. “I-I’ll handle this, ok? This shitty phase will end soon enough.”

 

“I love you, Jihoon, you know I do, but I shouldn’t be your only source of happiness...” Woojin said with a melancholic look on his eyes, hoping that Jihoon knew that he wasn’t trying to push him away.

 

“You are so conceited. Of course I have other sources of happiness...” Jihoon said weakly, exhaling a deep breath. “I’ll think about it. For you. I-I have to go now.” He didn’t really, but that conversation took a toll on him.

 

Jihoon stood up quickly leaving Woojin behind, looking back with sad eyes.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everyone's encouraging words. It really pushes me forward to keep writing. ^^ 
> 
> Special thanks to @brownrice for putting up with my shit.
> 
> Without further ado, here comes Jihoon's first time on shrink.

Sitting with a straight back, hands resting on his shaky knees, Jihoon was the portrait of anxiety. He shifted on his seat at the reception of the therapist’s office for the nth time.

 

He had arrived at his appointment 15 minutes earlier and felt that being punctual wasn’t his best idea. He kept staring jittery at the clock on the wall, counting the minutes. It has passed 10 minutes already.

 

 _Why_ _are_ _the minutes passing_ _by_ _so slowly?_

 

He was torn between tapping the shrink’s room or bolting away there for good if this wait kept for any longer.

 

Settling for exploring the place instead of worrying, he took a better look at the reception. It was nothing much: calm colors, soft sofa and some artificial flowers that tried to emulate a comforting ambiance.

 

But comfortable was the last thing Jihoon felt at the moment. He felt like he was suffocating, his breath starting to get labored.

 

_Am I hyperventillating? Oh, my...! Breath, Jihoon. Breath._

 

“Mr. Park Jihoon?” A tall man in glasses with sharp features asked, assessing Jihoon with penetrating eyes.

 

Jihoon jumped at the mention of his name. “Y-yes, that would be me.”

 

“Sorry for the wait. Dr. Hwang Minhyun. You can just call me Minhyun.” Said the man with a small smile extending his hand. “You can come in now.”

 

Jihoon stared at the hand, taken aback. He then shook it slowly, after spacing out for a second. “Oh...ok.”

 

“Follow me.”

 

They entered the office, not much bigger than the reception, but it had a warmer and cozier feel, tall shelves with dozens of books, some small paintings hanging and two comfortable armchairs laid in the middle of the room next where a small coffee table stood. Jihoon stayed by the door observing every detail and didn’t even notice when Minhyun started serving two cups of tea and biscuits on the coffee table.

 

“Why don’t you take a seat? Tea?” said the therapist offering the cup to Jihoon.

 

“Oh...of course, sure, why not?” _O_ _h_ _, God, this is so uncomfortable_ thought Jihoon taking the cup and sitting on the armchair timidly.

 

“So, Jihoon, can I call you Jihoon?” The other nodded. Minhyun opens a small notebook, grabs a pen and direct his sharp eyes to Jihoon. “What brings you here, Jihoon?”

 

Jihoon’s mind has gone blank. He didn’t know what to say. _My best friend nagged me forever to come_ suddenly sounded very silly _._ Minhyun looked at him and waited for a response. When none came he tried another approach. “Let’s start with something simpler, ok? How are you today?”

 

“Ah...I’m fine. I mean, I’m not exactly fine, I’m here after all-”

 

“Is there a something wrong with you being here?” said Minhyun, taking a sip of his tea.

 

“Definitely. I said to Woojin that I’m perfectly capable of dealing with my own problems.”

 

“And what problems did Woojin want you to deal with?” added Minhyun, without missing a beat.

 

“He just...” Jihoon sighed. “He worries too much. Well, I guess I’m not doing very well on the whole being a functional human lately.”

 

“Can you elaborate?”

 

“I don’t-” how could he elaborate? He felt the sudden want to close himself in his shell again. Talking to a shrink was a lot like shedding your clothes in front a complete stranger...he was uncomfortable, embarrassed and couldn’t look the other in the eyes. Taking a deep breath he willed himself to speak, _for Woojin._

 

“I’m having a hard time finding some kind of normalcy. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t seem to interact normally with people since my mom passed away. Not that I ever was a social butterfly to begin with, but now I dread the thought of contacting anyone. Well, anyone except Woojin.”

 

“Who’s Woojin?”

 

“A friend. My best friend. Actually, if I’m being honest, my only friend.” said Jihoon shaking his head and focusing on his hands on his lap.“When we met I was just a kid going through a tough time...he comforted me, made me laugh and believe that maybe everything was really going to be ok...” taking a deep breath he continued. “He was there when I needed him the most:from my parents divorce to my first heartbreak. And then to the bullying and finally, to my mother’s demise. There’s nothing more precious in my life than our friendship. H-he is everything I got now...” Jihoon lifted his head, eyes misty and desperate, staring deeply into Minhyun’s.

 

“And how was his relationship with your family?”questioned Minhyun creasing his brows while writing on his notebook.

 

“Well...father wasn’t really around much after the divorce.” He paused licking his lips. “Mom didn’t like him at all... she wondered whether he was just a really rude kid or whether I just made him up. Can you believe her?” Jihoon chuckled with mirth on his eyes.

 

Minhyun stopped writing and squinted his eyes meeting Jihoon’s. “Why would she think that?”

 

“It’s just that every time she went to meet him, he would never show up or just kind of disappeared from my sight. I think he was just shy or maybe even afraid of meeting her. A dumb reason, really.”

 

“Hmm...interesting.” scratching his chin. “What was your relationship with his family?”

 

“I-...I never got to meet them.”

 

“Friends from school or anyone else?” added Minhyun.

 

“No, not even one. It has always been just me and him...” _Wait, this doesn’t make_ _any_ _sense...why I never met them? I didn’t even thought of asking him about them! Oh, my God,_ _what_ _a_ _great_ _friend you are!,_ suddenly Jihoon felt really self-conscious and guilty.

 

“I’m such a selfish bastard. I never even considered his family or friends… I’m such a jerk.” he covered his face curling his body forward. “We’ve been meeting all this years and all I have been doing is take, take and take and expect him to keep giving...I’m an idiot.”

 

“That’s one way to take this.”

 

“In which side are you on, Dr.?”

 

“I already said for you to call me Minhyun. And I’m not here to take sides, Jihoon. I’m here to make sure you get in touch with your inner self. And I think we have done quite a progress for one session.”

 

Jihoon humpfed crossing his arms. “I guess...”

 

“Look, I think we can agree that your relationship with Woojin is rather unbalanced, not to say one sided. That and...well, the fact that he fulfills every requirement of your every need. So, yes, he could be a very shy and reserved boy, or maybe... maybe you should start to consider the possibility that your mother could be quite correct on her assessment about Woojin.”

 

“That’s ridiculous, Dr.!” yelped Jihoon, flabbergasted. “It’s such a ludicrous idea, I don’t even know where to start...” Jihoon was speechless at Minhyun’s remark.

 

“Have anyone else aside yourself ever interacted with him at all?” stated Minhyun cocking his head to the side.

 

“I think that’s enough for today, don’t you, Dr.? Oh, look: our time is up.” Jihoon said fumbling with his hands, putting his barely touched cup of tea on the coffee table. “See you next time”, he said shaking hands with Minhyun, ready to leave the room the fastest he could without being considered rude. His head was a mess and he needed some alone time to think.

 

Minhyun gave him a small and cryptic smile. “See you next time, Jihoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is this going? :) I'm really in love with the idea of Minhyun being his therapist. I think he just exudes a calm and conforting aura, don't you think?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading this, thanks~ 
> 
> I'm trying really hard to keep it going. 
> 
> Hopefully I'll manage to finish it. :))

_Thump! Thump! Thump!_

 

Jihoon’s heart was thunderous while he walked towards the clearing. He tried to relax and calm his heartbeat, leaning against a tree a block away from their usual spot.

 

After his little therapy session, he was feeling rather nervous at the prospect of meeting Woojin again as Dr. Hwang’s words kept replaying in the back of his mind.

 

The seed of doubt was planted in Jihoon’s brain and he couldn’t shake off the feeling that sank on his stomach and overwhelmed him whole. Just thinking of the possibility that his best friend was not real left him shaken. How could he believe that Woojin’s whole existence was only an elaborated delusion of his own broken mind made to console himself in a moment of weakness? _That can’t be it, right?_

 

His head whirling with all the _what ifs_ scenarios, he took a moment to try to recollect himself. W _hat if Woojin is really only a figment of his imagination? Would he disappear now that I know that? What if all these years of friendship are gone in a blink of an eye just like a dream?_

 

That thought left Jihoon frantic. He couldn’t lose Woojin. He couldn’t take another hit like that.

 

He spent his days of overthinking, finally getting the courage he needed to leave his house and go talk to Woojin. He would not back away now.

 

Determined, he took sure steps to the clearing where he saw Woojin sitting under a tree, still unaware of his presence, waiting for him.

 

As he got closer, Jihoon’s steps got quicker and he was almost sprinting towards the other boy. Woojin finally took notice of him, giving him his brightest snaggletoothed smile, so big that his eyes wrinkled.

 

Closing the small gap, Jihoon threw himself unexpectedly on Woojin, making them almost fall to the ground from the sheer impact of the embrace.

 

“Woah, woah, Jihoon… not that I’m complaining, but where does this come from?” Woojin asked, a small smile still placed on his features. When the other didn’t answer he backed away a little trying to look at Jihoon’s face, but Jihoon held him even tighter hiding his face on the crook of his neck.

 

“Hey... are you alright?”

 

“I-I just need to make sure you’re really here. That you won’t leave me. That what we have is real.”

 

“Wait, what? Why would I ever do that, Jihoon? You’re not making any sense.” Woojin told him shaking his head. Slowly he detached himself from Jihoon holding him by the shoulders. “Wanna talk about it?” his voice filled with concern.

 

“I did it. I went to the therapist.” said Jihoon in a low voice, eyeing the surrounds, avoiding Woojin’s eyes glued on him.

 

“That’s great news! Why the long face? Was it that bad?” he sat on the floor and gestured for Jihoon to do the same. “Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

 

Jihoon exhales a long breath that he was holding. “It wasn’t bad per se. I just had to do a lot of thinking after the session and my mind gears might have been overworking themselves.”

 

“So you’re here for recharge? Your daily dose of vitamin Woojin?” Woojin bumped his elbow into Jihoon’s ribs grinning. “I missed you, stupid.”

 

“Ouch! That hurt! I missed you too, ok!?” yelped Jihoon rubbing the spot. Gathering his bravery to tell him what he had come to tell, he continued “I’m sorry I haven’t really been coming much. It was just a lot to take at once. It made me realize I was being a shitty person, that I have to a lot to change if I wanna get away of that limbo I've been living in. I-...I actually wanted to start it by asking your forgiveness about a couple of things.”

 

Woojin scrunched his face as he was not following his friend’s line of thinking. “Don’t interrupt me now, Woojin. I’m trying to be the good guy here and do the right thing for once." sighed Jihoon.

 

"Dr. Hwang told me our relationship isn’t the healthiest. He said I depend on you way too much. I’m sorry I never asked you about your troubles even though you were always here, listening to mine. I’m a lame friend. The worst.” sulked the boy.

 

“Well, you’re not getting any prizes as the best BFF in town, but you’re definitely not the worst, Jihoon. If I had to pick a place, I think around 34th~ 35th maybe? That’s a perfect acceptable score, Jihoon. Quit the dramatics.” delivered Woojin playful. He didn’t like how Jihoon turned so auto-depreciative at times.

 

“Stop messing around, Woojin! I’m being serious here!” Jihoon said, slapping Woojin’s shoulders lightly. “I literally know nothing about you: where do you live, what do you do, who is your family? I can’t believe I’m only asking this now! 35th place is way too good for me! You’re way too good for me.”

 

“I totally agree with you there. When would you ever get someone with this flawless tanned skin, toned abs and killer sense of humor? I’m way out of your league, Park Jihoon.”

 

“Quit it, damn it!” shrieked Jihoon, barely concealing the small grin that appeared on his face. “Stop avoiding the questions, ok?” said him after, only a bit less agitated.

 

“Calm down, you’re going nuts.” Jihoon smiled wryly at Woojin’s choice of words. With a contemplative expression, Woojin started to talk “I never thought too deep about any of this, Jihoon. I don’t think I ever had a family, but I’m not too sure since my mind is a little foggy for anything that might have happened before I met you on this clearing and I’ve been living here ever since. I don’t think you should apologize for anything at all. I don’t mind being here for you.”

 

Jihoon looked at him with an expression Woojin couldn’t quite read, and he knew all Jihoon’s expressions. Slowly, tears started pooling on Jihoon’s eyes as the truth of what his friend really was sink in.

 

Suddenly, Jihoon grabbed him into a forceful embrace, his body shaking heavily with the force of his hiccups. Woojin was startled at first, but returned the hug just as tightly.

 

“Was it something I said?” asked a distressed Woojin. Jihoon just gave a watery laugh. “No, dummie. It wasn’t anything you’ve done. You are perfect, do you hear me?” said Jihoon holding Woojin’s face closely. “Exactly what I needed. And I still need you so much. Don’t you dare ever leave me.”

 

“Here it comes again. What did this therapist say to you?” whispered Woojin holding his gaze as he got close enough to touch their foreheads gently. He didn’t quite understand what that was supposed to mean: he still needed him. Still. Like there was a chance for their friendship to end.

 

“Only what I had to listen.” whispered back Jihoon, closing his eyes.

 

“You’re stuck with me. Forever.” Woojin slowly closed the gap kissing Jihoon chastely on the lips.

 

Jihoon opened his eyes wide and scurried away from Woojin like he was burned, standing up clumsily as he put his hand over his lips.

 

Woojin eyes were as wide as his as the reality of what he had done hit him.

 

“I’m so sorry, Jihoon... JIHOON!”

 

But Jihoon was already too far away, having successfully escaped the clearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what now, Jihoon? Are you really going to run away on every end of chapter? Stay tuned to know if this will become a habit. lol


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near, can you feel it? :')

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

 

Jihoon knocked on the door of Dr. Hwang’s office for the third time. He had called countless times, left a few messages on his phone and on kakaotalk, tried every possible way to contact his therapist’s office in an attempt to get an emergency appointment. He was in desperate need to vent, didn’t had anyone but his own head to mull over and this was driving him mad.

 

Jihoon was a total mess right now. He tossed and turned the whole night but couldn’t get even an ounce of rest. His eyes sported deep dark circles, his hair tousled and his clothes unclean and in complete disarray. He couldn’t digest anything he tried to eat, feeling nauseous as soon it touched his tongue. He needed an intervention, even if it was a self-imposed one.

 

He was ready to give another try when Minhyun opened the door. He entered the room without even sparing a glance at the therapist, bumping slightly on his shoulder, eager to rant about what was bothering him on the last couple of hours.

 

“You were right and I was wrong! You win, Doc!” he kept pacing, looking at the ground, and gesticulating profusely.

 

“Jihoon-...” Dr. Hwang tried to grab his attention.

 

“Now tell me, how can I live with the knowledge that everything I knew to be true is not?” he squeaked grabbing his head, looking a little unstable.

 

“Park Jihoon!”

 

“Hmm?” said dumbly Jihoon, finally turning his head to look at his therapist direction.

 

“I’m still in the middle of a session, could you wait outside?” he looked slightly annoyed at Jihoon’s behavior. He added then a softer “Please?”

 

Jihoon had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry, I-I’ll wait outside.” He then bowed a little to the patient that was looking at him with big eyes. “I’m so sorry, I’ll leave now.”

 

He left the room silently, closing the door with care. Plopping down on the sofa at the reception, he cupped his face with his hands, feeling an uneasiness settle in his stomach. _Nice job at embarassing yourself, Jihoon!_

 

He could barely contain the mix of emotions that whirled inside himself right now. Passing his fingers through his messy hair, he tried to organize his confusing thoughts but the fear of facing the certainty of Woojin not being a real person made it a hard task to accomplish.

 

He didn’t have to wait much longer for the session in question to end. Eventually, the patient from earlier along with Dr. Hwang emerged from the office. The patient gave Jihoon a look that said "I know how you feel" which Jihoon accepted willingly, feeling a little bit better for barging in before.

 

Dr. Hwang then turned to Jihoon and said "It's your turn now, Jihoon." Jihoon swallowed the lump in his throat and made his way to the office a lot less hastily than on the first time. He sat on the edge of the armchair eyeing the floor, uncomfortable and still a bit apologetic about the previous scene.

 

"So... let's start from the beginning. What was I right about?" sat a calm Minhyun, spectacles on the bridge of his nose, legs crossed, ready to take notes on his notebook.

 

Jihoon was at a loss for words compared to earlier. But the things he wanted to say were pounding on his head. He knew he had to get this off his chest. It was the main reason he started seeing a shrink, in the first place. The other reason being Woojin.

 

“You were pretty insistent on this appointment, so I imagine that something might have happened to set off this demeanor. Am I wrong to assume that?"

 

“No...I mean, yes.” Jihoon licked his lips.” Woojin...I’ve considered all you have told me about him and I’ve accepted that it might be true. The thing is that I want to believe he is real, more than that, I want _him_ to be real. But I’m so afraid of what might happen if I just ignore this hope and...you know, face the truth,” Jihoon closed his eyes and shook his head.

 

“What do you fear?” questioned Dr. Hwang, propping his hand under his chin.

 

“What if this hope is the only thing making my subconscious keep him? What if acknowledging his nonexistence my brain decides it won’t be able to imagine him any longer?” said Jihoon pointing to his head emphatically.

 

“You can’t try to save Woojin without saving yourself first, Jihoon.” Minhyun tried to reason with him, softly.

 

“If being _healed_ means that I might lose him, it isn’t worth the risk, Doc. I don’t mind being crazy as long as I can keep him.” mumbled Jihoon letting his whole body sinking on the armchair.

 

“Your imaginary friend was never the problem, Jihoon. The problem is that you don’t seem to have any real friends.” said the therapist leaning closer and clasping his hands.

 

“I don’t want or need any other friends! They would never be as good a friend as Woojin is anyways!” snapped Jihoon, suddenly livid with the outrageous suggestion.

 

“I have a theory.” Minhyun paused, waiting to see if there was any objection. Seeing there was none, he went on. “I think you started out this whole imaginary friend scenario because you needed comfort and he provided it willingly. Sort of like a security blanket that you come back to every time you’re stressed or overwhelmed.”

 

“Is there anything wrong in wanting to keep that?” said Jihoon defensively.

 

“Jihoon, that is more than understandable considering the circumstances you’ve gone through. Look, even I wished he was real, trust me! It would make my position so much easier and your life a lot less complicated if he were. But you can’t rely on him forever. At some time you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone in order to move forward with your life, Jihoon. As long as you can remember that Woojin’s not real, you’ll do just fine on that aspect.”

 

Jihoon shakes his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “So what now, Minhyun? What do I do?” he said with a small voice, looking lost and vulnerable.

 

Minhyun smiled. It was the fist time his patient called him by his first name. That must mean he was finally opening up to him. He had to make the most of that trust. “Now, Jihoon, you live your life. The life it was taken from you from the start. What are your dreams? What you aspire for? Challenge yourself. You have your whole life to accomplish these small victories you’re setting for yourself.” said Minhyun, with a firm but encouraging tone.

 

“Here, take this and write everything you want to do and never got the chance to because of the circumstances.” he gave Jihoon his notebook opened on a black page and a pen, ready to be used.

 

“Then I want you to pick 5 of those and make them your new life mottos. The main reasons you will wake up day after day. The objectives you see yourself reaching within this lifetime. Be reasonable, but don’t forget that is good to dream a little too.”

 

Jihoon assented with his head and started to write some of the things he always wanted to experience but never got the chance to. Then he picked his top choices and scribbled on the bottom of the page.

 

_1\. Make friends_

 

_2\. Go to college_

 

_3\. Have a family_

 

_4\. Leave a legacy_

 

_5\. Find love_

 

Somehow he thought the last one he might have already achieved. But Minhyun told him he should distinguish what’s real and what's not, so he tried to draw a line even if that killed him inside a little bit. He gave the notebook back to Minhyun waiting for him to analyze his life choices with expectant eyes.

 

“Excellent. Now that you drew the objectives for the long run, we can discuss how you can achieve each one of those. What do you think?” Minhyun said smiling softly at Jihoon.

 

Jihoon would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling a tad bit hopeful that his life could possibly be slowly getting back on track with the helpful assistance of Dr. Hwang. He still felt guilty deep down on the whole Woojin situation, but he knew his best friend would be more than happy to know that he was the one who made the biggest contribution for any significant change that would come on Jihoon’s life from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon didn't run away this time! I think that's a huge progress, don't you think? ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I want to dedicate this fic to my beloved friend and beta, @brownrice.  
> This would never be done without your help or encouragement.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this.

Woojin lied down with his arms behind his head on the grass of the clearing, looking at the blue cloudless sky as he waited for Jihoon to join him and celebrate his graduation after his high school ceremony ended. He was getting a little restless with anticipation at this meeting, for he wasn’t sure if Jihoon would remember his promise to come. _He is late._ Woojin realized as he observed the sun descending lower and lower, getting closer to the horizon. _Maybe he forgot it...maybe he forgot me._ These kinds of thoughts have been plaguing his mind a lot lately. He couldn’t help it.

 

Jihoon has brought his life-changing news to Woojin not longer after his emergency therapy session, a couple of months ago. He had then explained excitedly to a perplexed Woojin all the plans he had set for himself and that, with the gentle guiding of his therapist, he would turn his life around get some major modifications to his current monotonous life.

 

Woojin and Jihoon avoided talking about their fateful kiss, acting as it never happened. Woojin believed now it was better this way as he doesn’t need any additional reasons to scare Jihoon away more than he already does. _Even if I don’t know what I did to scare him._

 

Jihoon’s appointments multiplied themselves as he made an effort to set his new life priorities straight and this resulted in his encounters with his best friend being less and less frequent.

 

Not that Woojin was complaining. No way.

 

He supported whole-heartedly the decision of Jihoon finally getting out of his shell. And getting out of it he did. He started dressing better – still a fashion disaster but at least they were now clean clothes – and taking care of his health. His already pretty appearance glowed now. He also started reaching out to meet new friends in school with whom he soon made group studies with to try to get into a community university. He was tripling his effort on academics. All this to achieve the objectives he set for himself and this made Woojin’s heart full with pride but, at the same time, he missed his friend’s company.

 

He gets that he must remind Jihoon of the painful and darkest times of his life, but he wanted to make part of this new and improved life Jihoon was having now too.

 

Soon, the days without seeing each other became weeks, and the weeks became months. He couldn’t understand what he has done wrong. Did Jihoon not love him anymore? Did he forget his own best friend? Was he even still his best friend? He didn’t know.

 

But when he finally got to meet Jihoon, he always tried to put on a mask that everything was ok, that he didn’t particularly mind his lack of quality time with his friend, that he didn’t mind being left behind... everything to not hinder Jihoon’s mental health progress.

 

Because his friend seemed brighter and more full of life that he had ever had before. For his smile was so big as he got to tell all the daily little things he was getting to experience for finally throwing himself out there. For the sparkle on his eyes that could match a thousand stars. For the tinkling sound of his laugh that was more and more frequent as the time goes by.

 

Woojin was happy for him, he truly was. But then, he wasn’t. His whole world that revolved around Jihoon seemed to crumble before him. With all this time to himself he started to feel like he was not there for Jihoon at all. He felt weaker and weaker as days passed by. All his strength drained by the thought of not being needed, loved, remembered.

 

So immersed he was in his own musings, he didn’t even took notice of Jihoon’s arrival. The other boy blocked the sun shadowing part of his face. Woojin blinked repeatedly, watching the other in amazement, not believing in his own eyes. Jihoon was in full graduation clothes, black cap in head and robes flowing behind him.

 

“You came.” he whispered, smiling broadly, eyes forming cute half moons. Jihoon straightened his robe a bit, and sat beside him, smiling back softly.“Of course I did. I promised I would, didn’t I?”

 

"Yes, it’s just you’ve been so busy lately that I thought you maybe had forgotten... _me”,_ the last part left unsaid but his charged feelings hanged in the air. He shrugged smiling nonchalantly, but it was clear as day that he was bothered by the whole situation.

 

Jihoon seemed to have perceived his inner turmoil from his closed-off countenance and tried to smooth things over, “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come more often to see you. I’ve been busy, you know that.” he chanced a touch on his cheek, and found him staring right through him with a piercing gaze, blocking his hand.

 

“Are you really?” asked a skeptical Woojin his breath laboring as he continued “I think you just don’t have time for me, cause you always do for all your new friends.” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them, covering it. Jihoon had that strange expression again, a mix of sadness and longing and something else he couldn’t pinpoint.

 

“Look, Jihoon, I’m sorry, ok? I just have been feeling really strange lately”, he said gesticulating towards his chest, “and I couldn’t contain these feelings anymore...I-I just feel so lonely and empty all the time...all that I have now are these weird emotions to keep me company.” Woojin looked at him helpless, eyes full of tears. “What is happening to me, Jihoon? Am I going crazy?”

 

Jihoon couldn't face Woojin. It was too painful. Of course he wasn’t crazy. Jihoon was the crazy one. He was the one who made up an imaginary friend. Thinking about it is all he has done lately, constantly. Ever since Dr. Hwang told him not to worry, he’d worried, and argued with himself over the issue.

 

He had accepted the fact that he had to let this go... whatever it was. That his therapist was right, it just wasn’t healthy for him to live this way, clinging onto something he could never have, not really. Then he remembered every memory he had with Woojin, his bright smile and his constant support, and the guilt ate him up for treating his friend as a hallucination. But he had to stop this. Not that he wanted to send Woojin away, but he needed to stop thinking of him as… something more than he was.

 

All that worry and grief was pointless as Jihoon didn’t have much say in the matter. He just couldn’t expurgate the image of the playful and loving Woojin from his heart. It just wasn’t possible. Maybe he should just share his burden with Woojin. Who knows, perhaps he could even give him an insight about how to handle his own nonexistence? That sounded ridiculous even to himself, but he didn’t see any other way out of this. _So much for someone who_ _is supposed to have an_ _overactive imagination._ _You can’t even figure your way out of this mess._

 

“It’s ok, Woojin. I know it hasn’t be easy for you and it haven’t been easy for me too.” Jihoon smiled, holding his hand, then paused and studied Woojin’s face. “Look, I have a… hmmm... hypothetical question. Let’s say I have this friend that is going through a lot. Hypothetically speaking, if I had a theory regarding his current situation, how should I go about broaching the subject? Hypothetically?”

 

Woojin gave him a bewildered look. “What the fuck are you on about, Jihoon? Just say what you have to say. You never had any problem in being truthful before.” He said with more bravado than he felt. In fact, he was really scared of what Jihoon might say. _Will he say we shouldn’t be friends anymore?_ The thought made him cling on the other all of the sudden with much more force than needed, the fear filling his every movement.

 

Jihoon looked at their interlaced fingers and then at his friend’s face, collecting all the courage he could muster to lay his soul bare. He still didn’t know how to put into words the whirlwind of thoughts that was going through his head, but he had to start somewhere. “There’s no easy way to say this, Woojin.” he licked his lips and shook his head. “We can’t do this anymore. It’s not healthy.” Woojin looked at him, his previous apprehensive eyes were now filled with sorrow, hurt and confusion.

 

“Do what? What did I do? I’m sorry, Jihoon.” Woojin started blabbering, sounding forlorn, words a jumbled mess, eyes watering, and brows furrowing.

 

It broke Jihoon to know he was the one responsible for inflicting all that pain on his best friend, but he had started this – badly, he admitted – and now he had to finish it. Unfortunately, his head was running wild, a chaotic non-cooperative mess that hinder all his attempts at making his feelings clear to the other. He shifted from the previous position putting a little more distance between them for Woojin’s close presence made it even harder to organize his thoughts. “It’s not you, Woojin. It’s me...it’s us...all the talking, the looks, the feelings...t-the love. It’s not real. I’m so sorry I made this mess...” he ended with a small voice, pressing the ball of his hands on his eyes to keep him from crying.

 

Woojin started bawling now, unabashedly. “I-I don’t understand it...Why would you say that? I-I love you, Jihoon.” slowly dragging his hands to clear the path the tears were leaving on his face.

 

“I love you too and that’s the whole problem. This isn’t real... I want way more than what I can have.” he paused, opening and closing his mouth a few times, struggling to say his next words. “Dr. Hwang said you’re an imaginary friend, a product of my mind when I was too afraid to face the world alone. I’m not afraid anymore, Woojin.” said Jihoon, semblance sad but resolute.

 

“This guy knows nothing!” vociferated Woojin, face distorted. “I’m here. I’m as real as my love for you. Why can’t you see it? You’re my whole world.”

 

“I know...” Jihoon let his head hanging low, a single tear escaping his eyes and made its way to the ground.

 

Woojin reached out to cup Jihoon’s face and clean his tear stained cheek, but he noticed his movements seemed off, way too slow, as if he was in a dream state. The more he tried to move forward, the less he seemed to have any control over his body movements. Frantic and bewildered, he took notice his extremities began to slowly fade becoming more transparent with each passing second.

 

“Jihoon...what’s happening? Please, look at me! Jihoon!” He stared at his best friend, eyes wide and bulging, on the verge of hysteria.

 

Jihoon was still at the same spot not having heard a single thing Woojin said even as he kept trying to get his attention, when distant voices could be heard getting closer. Woojin snapped his head up to watch the newcomers approach their spot.

 

“Hey, I think we found him. Jihoon! Jihoon!” waved frantically a thin and cute blond boy, with a joyful smile plastered on his face. Behind him came a tall boy with a small face, black hair, and brooding looks.

 

Jihoon quickly masked his feelings to an unemotional façade and turned to face the two beautiful boys asking confused “What are you guys doing here?” he stood up and cleaned his hands on his robes.

 

“Time to party, princess! It’s our graduation day! We have to celebrate!” said the blonde one doing a little dance. “Jinyoungie and I thought about having some pizza together at his place, watch some movies, maybe even snatching some beer. What do you say?” winked the boy, with a conspiratorial hand next to his face.

 

“Well, I- I was kind of...” he looked around and didn’t see Woojin anywhere. _Is he hiding?_ He had never brought other people into their clearing, except for his mom when he tried to introduce him to her, but he never had the chance to see Woojin next to real people. _Maybe he is uncomfortable with strangers?_ Not thinking too much of it, he just went silent. It’s not like he had a good excuse to give to his friends as to what was he doing there.

 

“Don’t lie, Jihoon. We know you have nothing planned for today. You told us your boss gave you the day off. Right, Daehwi?” Jinyoung stated, pulling his arm around he smaller boy, Daehwi, who smiled brightly.

 

“Ok, ok. I think you guys leave me no choice but to accept your kind invitation.” Jihoon said in a monotone, but a small smile crept uninvited on his face. Maybe this is what he needed now. Some spare time for his turbulent feelings to settle down. He could always talk to Woojin next time. “Lead the way”, said him, giving a one last glance to the place Woojin was just minutes ago, mouthing a last _I’ll be back soon,_ thinking that maybe his imaginary friend would get the message, then followed his new friends to their own little graduation party.

 

Woojin saw the whole interaction happen in desperation. He couldn’t do anything but to watch his friend leave, for his body didn’t respond to his commands and his voice fell flat on Jihoon’s ears even as he kept screaming and screaming his name on top of his lungs.

 

“NO, JIHOON! Don’t leave me...Jihoon...” he closed his eyes forcefully trying to will the tears to stop flowing and misting his view. Everything after happened in a blur, he was surrounded by an empty and white nothingness, all alone and confused, left to ponder what was happening to him. The questions wouldn’t stop popping on his mind and he didn’t know how to answer them: _Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Why am I here?_

 

It took a long time for Woojin to come to terms that he was only a figment of the imagination of a kid’s damaged mind. A kid who was desperately in need of a friend. A friend that could pull him through the darkness and harshness of the real world. A world who showed him nothing but pain and solitude.

 

Woojin thought he was helping the other by convincing him to ask for assistance to deal with those piling up feelings, only to know that he was the one responsible for suggesting his own demise.

 

So here he was now. There was no point in existing, for the kid has grown up and didn’t needed his help to face the real world anymore. He had accomplished his purpose. Not many people get to say that. There is no place for an imaginary friend in Jihoon’s life, and as long that is true, Woojin can be happy for him. He was able to see his best friend growing beautifully out of his shell. He had a job, and he completed it. He was finally at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End? Not really...haha
> 
> Actually, I'm planning on a small epilogue. :)
> 
> Thank you all for joining me on this ride. <3


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now it's the end~ FINALLY! Hope you guys enjoy it <3

 

 

The beeping sound echoed across the bright room. White walls, white ceiling, white sheets. Jihoon felt lightheaded and disoriented, head fuzzy and clouding his thoughts. His throat was dry, and swallowing hurt.

 

 _What is this tube? Where am I?_ he mused. _Oh, right...the hospital._

 

He recognized the room now. The heart monitor, the IV line on his arm, the faint rumble of conversation that could be heard in the background. The family members gathered around the hospital bed had yet to notice he was awake. Better like that, he didn’t want the attention.

 

Having been bedridden for months, he had lost a bit of weight and most of his appetite, the drowsiness of sleep constantly making him slip in and out of consciousness. He was sure that these were showing signs that his body was dying, shutting down, one bit at a time.

 

Jihoon was tired, so very tired. He wanted rest, some peace. Unfortunately, his health wasn’t getting any better even after long months of treatment for something no doctor could pinpoint with precision.

And it has come to this... this wait. His time that should finally come. Death now would be quite welcomed, a relief to his suffering, much too prolonged. He had gotten far in life, and felt he had accomplished quite a lot these last 80 years.

 

One of the few things he was proud of was that he managed to get his little list from when young and naive completed through his existence. Every item scratched, by his own efforts.

 

Jihoon had managed to flourish some beautiful friendships that lasted a lifetime while he was still in highschool. Jinyoung and Daewhi got together when they were really young, and were one of the most precious couples that he had ever had the chance of witnessing. Their love still going strong, even in old age. Maybe much stronger, because of it.

 

Thanks to the massive efforts he applied into studying during his final year, he managed to get a scholarship in college, as a business major. It was in college that he met his future wife. She was bubbly and full of life, a good friend for years before becoming a dedicated girlfriend that loved him deeply. He was never able to reciprocate as she deserved, but he still kept her around, because it felt safe even if it didn’t feel right.

 

Her pregnancy took them by surprise, and they had both decided that it would be for the best if they got married and constituted a family. He was content with her, despite not being in love. They made a nice pair, understood each other, and he felt that with time, maybe, he could learn to love her the way they were meant to.

 

But life was never fair, and that extra time to fall in love was cut short. She had a difficult pregnancy which demanded absolute rest in the last months of gestation. A week after the birthing, she started complaining about having headaches and blurred vision. Then came the seizures, culminating on a fatal stroke in the spam of a few days. The doctors said she had presented symptoms of postpartum eclampsia.

 

He was left devastated and alone, with a baby to care for. But Jihoon was nothing but resilient, if his life story was anything to go by. He managed to adapt the business plans that he had developed since college to an online business, so he could be with his child.

 

With the help of her grandparents on her mother’s side, he was able to raise his only daughter, not without some struggles. But here she was now, all grown up and beautiful, married to a good and gentle man that loved her how she deserved to be loved. They had tried for a long time together, but finally gave him – a couple of years ago – the most precious gift: the sunshine of his life, his granddaughter Jihye.

 

And the last item of the list: love. This one he had achieved way before he even wrote those few words on a notebook page at a shrink’s office. And he had hoped he could see _him_ one last time, but knew it was only a silly wish from his much too aged heart.

 

_Woojin never came back, Jihoon. Why would he do it now, after all this years?_

 

His mind wandered back to their spot, the clearing, where they spent so many hours together countless times. He enjoyed the nostalgia brought by those fond memories that led his mind astray, leaving him glassy eyed and with a small smile on his lips.

 

“Hello, Jihoon.” resonated a voice startling him from his thoughts.

 

Jihoon gasped, flabbergasted. Right there, at the foot of his bed, stood Woojin in all his youthful glory, smiling at him, a hint of his snaggletooth showing. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. Woojin never appeared for him outside the clearing. Scratch that, Woojin never appeared for him at all, period.

 

_Is this really Woojin?_

 

“Dad? Are you alright? Do you want me to call the nurses?” asked his daughter helpfully, after watching his abrupt reaction, unseeingly to Woojin’s sudden arrival.

 

“No, my love, I’m fine. My throat is just a little sore...these damned tubes," he said distractedly, voice raspy from the lack of use, a couple of coughs following after. “Would you be a dear and get me some water?”

 

“Sure, dad. Anything else?” she said, while getting him a cup from the bottle that stayed on the small table in the corner of the room. She gave it to him and stood next to her daughter, patting Jihye’s head while the girl played with her toys on a chair beside the bed.

 

Jihoon gulped the content of the cup on one go, all focus lost, not hearing a thing his daughter had just said as he watched Woojin getting closer to the right side of his bed. “That’s not the reception I was expecting. After all this years, a long time friend should at least be acknowledged, don’t you think? Afraid they think you’re going senile, old man?” Woojin told him, winking with a big grin.

 

Jihoon’s heart rate got incredibly faster and the machine let a loud beep indicating the sudden acceleration. “Are you really going to die on me now?” Said Woojin taunting him.

 

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon asked out loud, voice still a bit scratchy.

 

“Dad, you know Jihye wanted to visit you for ages and we finally got some time off work to bring her here, remember?” said his daughter with slightly worried semblance. But Jihoon’s eyes didn’t leave Woojin’s face for even a second.

 

“You better answer her, Jihoon, or they might start to think you’re crazy or something.” Woojin told him with a crooked smile, playing with the strings of his hoodie.

 

“I feel a bit tired now, love. It might be messing up my memory. Maybe you should let this old man have some alone time to take another much needed nap. Why don’t you all go to the cafeteria and grab something to eat? You’re here since early morning and I didn’t see any of you eat anything at all. Jihye would love a sweet too, right, princess?”

 

“Yes, mom! I would love that!” said the kid with a bright smile at the promise of some sugary snacks.

 

“Ok, ok… we won’t be long, dad. C’mon, Jihye. Let’s go.” She nodded as she got her purse and gestured for her husband to come along with Jihye.

 

“Please, take a nice rest, Mr. Park.” said his son-in-law with a small smile, picking up Jihye on his arms. “Bye, bye, grandpa!” waved Jihye enthusiastically.

 

As soon as they left the room, Jihoon couldn’t help but eye Woojin from head to toe, recalling every little detail of his best friend in wonder, “You didn’t age at all. You’re still look exactly like I remember”, he tentatively reached out his hand trying to touch him and prove to himself that he was really there.

 

“Looks like someone didn’t want me all old and wrinkly,” said Woojin looking pointedly at Jihoon.“But I can’t say the same about you. You’re...ancient, Jihoon.” He leaned closer to let Jihoon brush his fingers against his skin, as he too caressed Jihoon’s face.

 

“Thanks, bud. I see you are still a jerk.” Jihoon smiled fondly at Woojin, savouring the feeling of his hand on his face. It’s been so long since he last felt this close to him. He wanted to imprint this moment in his memory.

 

“You’re still as beautiful as ever too. Some things never change, I guess.” said Woojin, avoiding his eyes and retreating his hand as he stood by the window to take a peek at the outside view, a look of deep yearning for what couldn’t ever be.

 

Jihoon stared, getting into a contemplative state, still unbelieving. He needed some kind of explanation to justify all the mess that getting over Woojin's departure brought him. “Why did you never come back? Why now, all of the sudden?”

 

“The thing about being an imaginary friend, Jihoon, is that you only exist when your creator wants you to. I learned this the hard way.” Woojin sighed, sitting on the side of the bed.

 

“That can’t be true! I wished you came back for years, Woojin. I never forgot you, not even for a day.” Jihoon grabbed both of his hands, in an attempt to convince him he was telling the truth.

 

“Let me rephrase that: I lived as much as you needed me to.” explained Woojin, smirk in place, a little squeeze on his hands back in understanding, no judgments.

 

“So, do I need you now?” inquired Jihoon, curiously.

 

“Apparently, your brain thinks so.” Woojin’s smirk grew cocky, eyes full with mischief.

 

“I think my brain recognizes my wish to see my best friend – no – the love of my life, one last time before saying goodbye to this world.” Jihoon muttered, eyes glistening with unreadable emotion.

 

“And it only took you like 60 years to admit it, but I’ll take that anyways.” His face radiated warmth, posture softening and eyes sparkling with love.

 

Jihoon had missed this so much, had missed him so much. He didn’t fear pouring his emotions out into the open anymore, so he did. “I’m less proud now, or maybe just less stupid. Experience does that to you. I’m not afraid to confront my feelings anymore and I want to regret nothing from the life I have remaining. So yes, Park Woojin, I admit you were, and still are the love of my life. Even if imaginary.” He snorts. “I honestly couldn’t thank my brain more for have coming up with such a complex and beautiful being as yourself.”

 

Woojin blushed scarlet from his confession, all his bravado now retracting to give place to a shy boy that still didn’t know how to handle feelings well. “What is this of saying goodbye, dumbass? Now that I’m finally here you just want to leave?”

 

“It doesn’t take a genius to notice I’ll die soon, Woojin. And I’m fine with that. More than fine, now that you’re here. You are on of the greatest regrets I have in life. I blamed myself for so long for letting you go. It wasn’t fair.”

 

“It’s not like you had any control over that, Jihoon. I had unknowingly just hindered your growth as a person. You were way better without me. You deserve nothing less than happiness. Did you get to do everything from your list? Were you happy?”

 

“I did… more than that even. I had a great life, Woojin. And yes, I was happy... I still am. I just wished that we could have been happy together.” he gave a long exhale that turned into a coughing fit. “I’m feeling tired again, Woojin. The perks of being old is sleep whenever. Promise me you will still be here when I wake up.” he requested with bleary eyes. He knew he wouldn’t be able to wake up anymore, his body was so weak and his vital energy was already slipping through his fingers, but he needed the reassurance. Woojin interlaced their fingers together, saying fondly, “You are stuck with me forever, remember?” making the other smile.

 

Jihoon shook his head and closed his eyes, looking so peaceful just laying there. Nobody could say he wasn’t just taking a nap. He then noticed Jihoon’s breaths getting shallower and ragged until they were mere puffs of air before finally ceasing completely. The heart monitor gave its final beep, only a flatline on display. This was it.

 

Woojin was ready to disappear this time, fully aware that if Jihoon’s time was up, he would probably follow and vanish too. In the end, he got what he always wished for: being able to confirm that Jihoon lived a full life, a happy life. And for that he was happy too. He was also grateful that he wouldn’t have to face the void that could never be filled in Jihoon's absence, the huge hole in his own heart that could never ever heal. He let a single tear roll down, leaving a trail down his face.

 

He waited for the nothingness to suck him in and make him fade away again, but it never came. Instead he saw Jihoon’s family getting back from the cafeteria. He gave them space, standing in the far corner of the room, watching the scene before him unfold.

 

Jihoon’s daughter went directly to his bed as if sensing something wasn’t quite right. “Dad? Dad?” she first called softly, thinking he might be sleeping. Then she checked the monitor and looked at her husband wide eyed, “Oh, my God, dad...”, she murmured, hugging his body still in shock.

 

Her husband looked a bit lost not knowing what to do. _Should_ _I_ _comfort her or call the staff?_ He decided the last one was wiser. “I’m gonna call the doctor… a nurse… someone. Wait here.” he said as he rushed out of the room hastily.

 

His granddaughter Jihye, not understanding what was going on, left her mom by the bedside and strolled to where Woojin stood, little pigtails bouncing and lollipop hanging from her mouth, “Are you a friend of my grandpa?”, she asked, head tilted to the side cutely.

 

Taken aback by the fact that she could see him when nobody besides Jihoon ever could, he looked at the little girl that reminded him so much of his friend when they first met.

 

With a gentle smile he answered “Yes. Best friends even. Want to be my friend too?”

 

She nodded.

 

“I’m Woojin. What’s your name, princess?” She beamed at the endearment, the same way her grandpa had always called her.

 

“Hi, Woojin oppa, I’m Jihye! Anyone who is grandpa’s friend is mine too. Let’s be the bestest of friends!” she grinned taking his hands in her petite ones.

 

So maybe it wasn’t time for him to leave just yet. He may have just found another purpose to stay and he would gladly do it: protect Jihoon's most precious treasure on earth. He had to get her out of here.

 

“Can you show me where you got this lollipop?” She flashed him a beautiful smile and went right out to the corridor, pulling him by the hand to make sure he would come along.

 

A few moments later some nurses and a doctor filled the room. He looked back once to the commotion, a bit of sorrow in his eyes.

 

_Goodbye, Jihoon. I’ll take care of her for you._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was aiming for heartwarming and hopeful, but some friends told me it's downright sad...so my apologies. TTwTT
> 
> Thanks to my princess @lilicadearest for beta-ing! Love u kiddo <3
> 
> And thanks to everybody that read my first fic...you all inspired me to keep trying and improving~

**Author's Note:**

> Wow...this was such a emotional rollercoaster for a first time writer. Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> You can come say hi to me on Twitter: @jessunnie88


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